My First Love

My First Love
I see you, I know you see me.

Your love makes me loose my grip on reality.

Your touch is so exhilarating...always exciting me.

Never knew I could feel like this. You made me look down deep, beneath your body, I feel everything.

You found love god only meant for you to discover.

Guards down beloved I'm the one you seek...

Your search is done your home is here with me. 

Standstill I will provide your every need.

Let me show you how much I love you, just lay back let me stimulate your mind and body.

Together we come undone, passion felt deep down inside.

Finally we become one...discovering one another...the way it was meant to be.

I see you, I know you see me. Our hearts swell with love. My First Love. You make my heart beat together we make love.

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            I’m suffocating here; I can’t even look at your face. 

I thought things would change, but you’re stuck in your ways.

 I hate you, I always stayed by your side, but you disappeared. 

I’m getting air, now you see, but I don’t care. I begged you I’m done denying the truth.   

I couldn’t get through to you, now I’m over you. Don’t bother me, every lie, every secret kept from me I’m done with you just let me leave. 

Why fight about it, you noticed to late get out of my face. 

You held me back all this time now I see you’re no good for me.The depth of my hate makes my soul weak, it’s all to real for me happiness won’t come easily. You once made me weak at the knees blew me away with your chivalry. But you were just playing deceitful games, games I didn’t want to play.

I was weak didn’t you see how you were treating me. It’s killing me that I stayed for so long now I’m strong. I regret not hurting you like you hurt me but then how much better would I be. My heart ached I felt so much pain but you just laughed in my face.

Now I’m gaining my strength your begging me to stay. Finally free you try to hide your lies, but I know more then what you’re say. You see me happy now you wont stop calling me. Where is she? The girl you thought I didn't know about don’t deny the truth from me, I don’t care.

 Pity is all I feel for you just deal with this, rot in your own despair. Now you’re overwhelmed with sorrow how does it feel to be like me? Our love was a lie; I feel nothing for you, shattered memories. I regret the lies I told myself, the guilt I felt, your still not all there. Blinded by your pride you don’t see me but I see you. No more lies you can’t sneak your way in I know all your games. Just stay away your nothing to me.

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Drifting Away

We’ve watched each other grow,

 learning as time continued to pass.

From adolescents,

 to adults we were forced to grow strong; 

where only you and I could thrive. 

We empowered one another, 

 no longer individuals, we became one. 

  The clouds rained in rejoicement of our love,

 the sun arose just for us, as seasons came and went deeper our love became. 

We made life together; the world was ours to claim.

 When we kissed the grass grew, when we cried the trees would shake, when we made love we caused earthquakes. 

I see you drifting away; 

our ungodly hour is taking its claim, please just stay. 

Don’t break away from our safe place; don’t say those things I can’t bear this pain. 

Your eyes tell me you wanna go, but your heart isn’t only yours. 

Your heart was already claimed by our love.

 Stay strong my love, soon the pain will pass and the world will belong to us. Our child needs a family, and Im numb without you. 

As the years pass the farther you slipped away, words unspoken. Our air is thin, our faith deprived, I’m no longer living inside. 

Our love became me; there is no home without you. 

Vivid pictures of your laugh 

and the sun kissing your cheeks keeps me holding on. 

But those images are losing color,our past fading away. 

  I want to feel your kiss under the warmth of the sun.

 Please my love let the anger go, don’t squander our love. 

I will plead with you until the day is done. But if you’re ready to walk away I won’t beg you to stay.

If my love isnt enough I cant make you love me. If your no longer at home with me then I will lay down my sorrow and bury it away.

For my love I will live in pain, 
to only see you happy again.

Her desperation for love.

Her hair flutters gracefully in the air, 

like a butterflies wings. 

Her skin is smooth, soft like a porcelains dolls. She hides her fears, and will never show you tears. Her eyes are breath-taking, her beauty mind blowing. 

She’s delicate; pain seems to follow everywhere she goes, stalking her every move. He spotted her from across the room, and was instantly intrigued by her beauty. 

Conversations that last hours,

 silly banter between two strangers. 

As time passes by, they let themselves come alive. 

Small hints of their true self’s, until truth is all they tell. 

Feelings of loneness and desperation for affection, becomes the conversation. She’s finding herself, and he’s lost just the same.

 His voice luring her in, hers dripping sex.  Their bodies collide in perfect rhythm, feeling all their pain, numbing it with lust.

His hands roaming her body, 

she smiles in delight. His breathing intensifying, deeper, 

deeper, he loves the way she feels inside. 

She breathes in lust and exhales pleasure. There both on a natural high, she’s giving her undying love. Bodies healing one another’s wounds, there being consumed.

 She bites her lips, 

when he starts kissing her thighs, then eating her insides.

 A lusty night coming to an end,

 exchanging awkward hugs, she swears she wants to change. Unable to keep contained, she wills her tears away; But their unwilling to shy away. 

 She just desires love,

 but her desperation gives her lust.

 She prays that her heart will change, and that her pain will diminish someday. 

But everyday there’s a new love, waiting to sweep her away.

Black Walls

You put your hands on her, 

making her bleed, black and purple memories.

Scars now lie within her, tarnishing her thoughts on men.

 You push her down taking her innocence away, thinking it was yours to claim. Then you simply laugh satisfied, walking away as quietly as you came. Brushing blood against the walls with your finger tips, as you slip away. The walls blacking from what they just witnessed.

She can’t move, paralyzing fear from what she just endured. Gasping for life, he almost claimed her life. She will never quite heal; hate building up inside, ready to erupt, exploding on the ones she loves.

She breathes in grabbing hold of her thoughts ruining wild; long enough to come back to reality. Her memories so real, she feels hunted down, by every man she see’s. Unable to find his face in the crowd, man has become the enemy. 

She can’t escape these paralyzing memories, their now all she see’s, they’ve become her only reality. Her hearts guarded, growing a thorny wall, sharp enough to kill. She’s lost her mind, trying to find the man who ruined her life. 

Her love of life died that night, she’d rather say goodbye. But she turns around seeing the beauty that lies inside. Reflections of the woman she used to be. 

She cried for what seemed an eternity, then she screamed “NO”.

“I won’t let him take my life from me, I will fight. Its time to gather the shards of glass I call my life."

Best-Friends

Who is she?

You had me hoping, and waiting.

But your intention was never to love me. Our love never prevailed, lost with memories, that never became reality. You have me going insane, schizophrenic, I feel like a monster.

Pacing back and forth, my brains screwed up, I’m a loose screw.

You’re infatuated by her and I’m infatuated by you. 

This odd triangle of love that only exists in my mind; I’m fixated on what could have been rather than, what really is. I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe, and I’m losing it, losing you.

I feel deprived of air without you. 

 I know you were never mine but baby your loves so divine.

My minds playing games, twisting up every word you’ve ever said. Maybe, just maybe you’ll open up your mind and see I’m not just a friend; I could be yours.

So please don’t leave, just stay here beside me. I feel like I won’t be able to breathe if you leave me. 

I’m infatuated by a fictional you,

because I can’t accept my reality’s true.

My hearts on the table, I’m letting everything go. 

I just wanted you to know, I love you. 

God all I wanted to tell you, “My life’s incomplete without you”. I want to be more than your bestfriend, I need you.

Erase today....

Erase today....

Take me back, lets rewind, I want to go back in time, to a place where you and I were making love all the damn time. When you couldn't get enough of mine, when the sun was hot, and our love was in flames. 

Back to the beginning, when I was all you desired. I know you love me; you’re still mesmerized by my beautiful eyes.

But you’re not ready; your running from the pain you might feel deep down inside.

So you push me away, just enough so I still remain.

Without you I might not exist, I might go insane, but I keep hoping you'll be ready one day!

So I guess I must wait, but how long will it take, or maybe this is just a lost case.

The thought of your lips pressing against mine, makes my body go numb for a few seconds in time.

My love has me willing to wait, my willingness is stealing, my free will away. When it comes to your love I’m lost.

 Even so I feel the need to wait for your warm embrace.

So please baby, don’t make me wait, I don’t want to wither away. But until you’re ready, I’m going to rummage through memories of our past times. 

I just wish we could erase today, and live in yesterday.

 

Potential

For you:

I see the potential in your eyes,

But it’s hidden behind fear, disguised behind tears.

I say "Baby don't cry, Mommy's here by your side." 

But I can see your fear won’t disappear.

I swell up with anger deep inside, a shell of a body just getting by.

Why would he let you see? See him tear me down, stealing love from me.

I take a deep breath, and say, "Let’s get out of here. 

Daddy will be alright one day, and will love; without causing fear." 

I look back only to whisper,

"I once loved you, but know we must say goodbye, we deserve more than unhappy tears."

I can hear the walls whisper in fear, "Hurry get out of here!"

So I grasp his tiny hand in mine, and let our fingers entwine.

I feel the world will be alright, with my baby-boy, by my side.

His eyes are bright.

Potential pouring out his eyes,

And happiness out of mine.

You see were finally free inside.

             

- By Norma Sanchez,

To my beautiful son, may you grow to learn, all the potential, you hold.

Life Gave me Light!

         Through the darkness, through the cloudy days, life has a way of bringing light from unlikely places. Last year was tremendously hard for me. I left my husband soon to be (ex-husband), I drifted from my family members, unable to trust. Lost my home, my belongings, lost my job. I even lost myself, or at least the person I was. Through it all I blamed, everyone except for myself. The truth is I allowed myself to get lost in a life I thought I had to live. Not realizing I was compromising my hopes, and dreams.

          I wanted so bad to be perfect for another person, I lost who I was. Ive always sacrificed for others, because I didn't have a choice. I didn't choose to have to feed my siblings almost everyday, while my mom drank her worries away. I didn't choose to have a baby at a young age. I didn't even choose to have a stepfather who wasn't quite right. But at the end of the day, I know I did what I had to. I remember putting my baby sister to bed every night. Playing with her hair,singing her to sleep. She had bad dreams, its the love I have for her that made me comfort her. It took me losing everything, I thought I needed, to realize I had it all already. I might have, had to do a lot of things, but I didn't have to be with a man I didn't love. So I left, doing so was the hardest thing I've ever done. Not because I was mourning him, but because I didn't do it sooner for myself. I had the basic human right to all along, now I'm pursuing that right.

         Life took me through a treacherous road filled with, pot holes, and hills that lasted for miles. Just to show me I am who Ive always wanted to be, I just got lost, but life found me again. Forcing air into my lungs, renewing me. Everything Ive endured met a purpose, played a part in who Ive become. I am a woman who loves with every cell in her body. Unwilling to hide my feelings, unwilling to shy behind hate, or fear. I am a woman who loves so deeply its painful. I am stubborn, strong, and most of all a dreamer. I lost things of no true value, to find the greatest goldmine ever to be discovered, myself. What more is there to say! I'm going to live my life.