Through the darkness, through the cloudy days, life has a way of bringing light from unlikely places. Last year was tremendously hard for me. I left my husband soon to be (ex-husband), I drifted from my family members, unable to trust. Lost my home, my belongings, lost my job. I even lost myself, or at least the person I was. Through it all I blamed, everyone except for myself. The truth is I allowed myself to get lost in a life I thought I had to live. Not realizing I was compromising my hopes, and dreams.
I wanted so bad to be perfect for another person, I lost who I was. Ive always sacrificed for others, because I didn't have a choice. I didn't choose to have to feed my siblings almost everyday, while my mom drank her worries away. I didn't choose to have a baby at a young age. I didn't even choose to have a stepfather who wasn't quite right. But at the end of the day, I know I did what I had to. I remember putting my baby sister to bed every night. Playing with her hair,singing her to sleep. She had bad dreams, its the love I have for her that made me comfort her. It took me losing everything, I thought I needed, to realize I had it all already. I might have, had to do a lot of things, but I didn't have to be with a man I didn't love. So I left, doing so was the hardest thing I've ever done. Not because I was mourning him, but because I didn't do it sooner for myself. I had the basic human right to all along, now I'm pursuing that right. Life took me through a treacherous road filled with, pot holes, and hills that lasted for miles. Just to show me I am who Ive always wanted to be, I just got lost, but life found me again. Forcing air into my lungs, renewing me. Everything Ive endured met a purpose, played a part in who Ive become. I am a woman who loves with every cell in her body. Unwilling to hide my feelings, unwilling to shy behind hate, or fear. I am a woman who loves so deeply its painful. I am stubborn, strong, and most of all a dreamer. I lost things of no true value, to find the greatest goldmine ever to be discovered, myself. What more is there to say! I'm going to live my life.
